Comparing yourself to others is a common issue for most people. There are many instances where it can be easy to feel Jealousy and envy at someone else’s successes. Or perhaps you feel happy for them but also wish you had their success? The other person appears so talented, attractive, intelligent, or charismatic. They may have more money than you, more friends than you are well-spoken, intelligent, or popular. They might have millions of followers on Instagram or YouTube, appear popular, and confident, and show us picture-perfect photos or videos of themselves.
It’s easy to think, “I wish I were like them; then I would feel special. If only I had their talent or looks, I would feel great about myself and be loved by others.”
However, what looks like success on the outside doesn’t mean their journey was smooth or that they are perfect in every way. Everyone has experienced or is going through challenging circumstances at some point in their lives. It’s almost unavoidable. Their success likely comes from being good at something, practicing persistently, and working hard. I haven’t heard of anyone who achieved success in their lives without effort and challenges.
Also, remember that these ‘perfect’ people only show you what they want you to see. Their ‘surface self’. We don’t know what is going on in their lives behind the scenes. Are they truly happy and content as they portray themselves to be? Are they happy on the inside? There are many unseen facets to this.
Either way, comparing yourself to others can be a harmful trap, and is rooted in low self-worth and self-esteem, limited thinking, and insecurity. Thinking this way exposes your inner beliefs about yourself and about life. You may feel that success and abundance are limited, that you cannot achieve the same thing as that other person or have great successes in your life.
Comparing yourself to others can sometimes be beneficial if done constructively. It can serve as inspiration and motivation for personal growth and achievement. However, negative comparisons often lead to envy or jealousy, both of which stem from fear-based thinking.
Envy involves wanting what someone else has, usually with resentment, but without rivalry or competition. It reveals insecurities, self-criticism, and low self-worth. If you believed in your ability to achieve your desires, envy wouldn’t be necessary.
Jealousy, on the other hand, is an emotion that makes you feel angry, bitter, and unhappy because someone else has something you want, owns something you desire, or is perceived as trying to take something away from you. It involves rivalry or competition.
While it’s normal to feel jealous at times, intense jealousy can spiral out of control, leading to irrational, violent, or aggressive behaviors. It can become toxic, taking over your life, well-being, and sense of happiness and contentment. These emotions can hinder your success by draining your energy and focus.
Remaining in these negative emotions can cause you to misinterpret situations, judge people unfairly, and see things from a biased perspective. It’s a trap that keeps you in a cycle of self-judgment and low self-worth unless you become aware of it and change your mind.
This mindset prevents you from recognizing your unique talents and skills. Negative self-talk undermines your self-confidence and causes you to miss opportunities for growth and success, keeping you in a cycle of self-doubt and low confidence.
Overcoming Negative Emotions and Building Self-Esteem
Understanding the Root Cause
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important not to be hard on yourself for feeling negative emotions. Many people experience similar thoughts due to societal pressures and childhood influences.
Release Negative Emotions: Refocus your mind and engage in critical thinking to rewire your thoughts and emotions. This can help you develop new, positive habits.
Recognize Your True Worth
Embrace Your Uniqueness: Understand that you are unique and special just as you are. No one else has your exact talents and gifts.
Acknowledge Your Value: Realize that you are amazing simply by being yourself. You are like a unique opal or diamond, impossible to replicate.
Personal Thoughts and Experiences
Overcoming Comparison: I struggled with comparing myself to others, especially during my teen years. This mindset can lower your mental, physical, and spiritual energy. With experience, I’ve learned that correct thinking and feeling can help you love yourself more and create better life experiences.
Define True Success: For me, true success means being happy on the inside, making life fun, and being spiritually grounded. It also involves living authentically and courageously following your dreams.
Tips to Build Self-Esteem
Encourage Others: Focus on your journey while celebrating others’ successes. Be happy for others, and they will be happy for you.
Practice Gratitude: Appreciate the great things in your life and your achievements. Shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.
Set Personal Goals: Be honest with yourself and work to improve your weak areas. Practice makes perfect.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your improvements, no matter how small.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Stay away from negative people who drag you down. Engage with uplifting content and people.
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, just as you would be to a friend. Use positive and encouraging words.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Support can help you overcome self-defeating emotions.
Limit social media: Take breaks from social media to rebalance your energies. Prepare yourself for potential triggers of comparison, envy, and jealousy.
I hope this message has inspired you to see things from a new perspective. Remember to elevate your self-image and recognize that everyone, no matter how they appear on the surface, has their struggles, insecurities, and imperfections. No one is perfect. From today onward, hold onto the truth of your worth and never let it go. The more you embrace this, the less you will be affected by others’ opinions or actions.
Do you struggle with comparison, feel free to open up, share and comment below.
