I had never known what a continuous blissful state felt like until I had an out of body experience.
My out of body experience happened right after the labour of my first child. I had planned the birth to be a natural home birth but because both of the midwives didn’t arrive in time, I ended up water birthing in hospital.
The labour lasted for 12 hours and finally, I remember there was a sense of calm and serenity that washed over me. I felt a sense of great achievement for I had birthed my son without drugs, or any other aid. I felt pride that I had stuck to my guns; I wanted my delivery to be as natural as possible. Right after the birth, I was content just being still in the bath…I just wanted to close my eyes. Relax, breathe, everything is okay I told myself. No more contractions, no more pain to endure. No more telling myself to stick in there, to keep going, to keep fighting. It was all over now.
I drifted away, and away, and away… I found myself in an expansive place filled and illuminated with heavenly white light. It was so beautiful that even recalling it brings tears to my eyes. Surrounding me were a large group of people, wearing white robes or clothes. I didn’t recognise their faces but I knew that I had known them before. These souls felt to me like like they were the closest and most trusted of my family members, welcoming me in their arms again. They were overjoyed to see me and there was also a sense of understanding and empathy: they knew I could not stay long, but they were waiting for me my return journey. They had a sense of pride; they knew how difficult my life’s journey was at times and they were congratulating me on my courage and determination.
My partner was watching me in the bath when it happened and told me afterwards how concerned he had been when he watched my expression through the out of body experience. He said I looked as though I was in bliss, like I was in heaven; an expression he had never seen me with before. He thought I was going to leave my body for good.
The nurses realised that I had blacked out and were fanning me to cool me down. They were calling out to me and telling me to wake up. “Helen, Helen, wake up… wake up now,” they kept on saying.
I remember that I had a yearning to stay in my vision. I didn’t want to leave, it felt so peaceful. But at the same time, I knew I had to come back. It wasn’t my time yet. I had just become a Mother and knew I had plenty to experience with my new family.
There was no need to speak words whilst the OBE happened, as communication was telepathic. Just like a dream: you know exactly what is going on, what emotions and feelings are being expressed, without a single word being uttered. Also, there is a sense of time distortion; I couldn’t say how long I was there for, it could have been minutes, hours or even months?
My experience was the most beautiful, blissful and delightful experience imaginable. I felt connected, whole and totally and utterly loved. It was an experience that could never be forgotten.